I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
