I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize