Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
