i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
