I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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