There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
