she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Drunk is not a location!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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