His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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