Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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