and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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