He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
