His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
