from now on my penis is your penis
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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