i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
