I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
