Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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