I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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