areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
