butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Jerry, you need to find god
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
