My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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