Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
