When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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