When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
