I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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