you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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