Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize