oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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