Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
