you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
