Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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