Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
