He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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