under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
