then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
