Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
