My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
