What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
