I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
