Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
