Tell her she can't have a vagina
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
