I wish I could teleport
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
