the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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