How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
