Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
