Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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