I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
