Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
