They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Pants are for mortals
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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