youre lurking in front of me
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
A bitchslap is in order.
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