I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
