You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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