any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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