I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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