I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
