when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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