i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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