Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
