just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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