just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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