what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
