pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
