You don't have asthma, your pregnant
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize