I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
