Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
