would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your cock deserves a montage
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
