yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
