We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
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