I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
